Posts by Wounded Heart

95

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

by Wounded Heart in

used to be called multiple personality disorder (mpd).. i have it.

i was physically, emotionally, sexually abused.

the tramas in my life were so great that i split into many.

Wounded Heart

hello all, its me again. more answers.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Waiting - thank you so much for your words. i dont feel courageous. but we will take your word for it. im sorry to hear that you have had to go thru anything like this... i appreciate the support you have shown and offered me. i would be interested in the link or url to Sidron and Randy Watter's sites if you have them. im on my 4th T. shes the best so far...i get to chose where and how i wish T to go. the 1st T i went to was an elder who was a T. he screwed with my mind big time and hypnotized me with out permission. he actually made me more suicidal each time i saw him. so i, unfortuanately, found out the hard way. and if i could say anything at all that someone would listen to it would be this (for those reading this): DO NOT GO TO A JW FOR THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was my biggest mistake ever. they are the worst! they are NOT professional! they are not able to seperate the jw from the t part. and they give the worst advice. ugh! im sorry that you had to find out the hard way too waiting. it sux! i kinda envy you waiting, i have yet to find my soulmate and thus rely on some very close friends that have helped keep me grounded. at this point we have no interest at all in integrating. its just not for us. we all like the different (most anyway) personalities we have. we didnt always. now we do, and do not wish to see that end.

please feel free to email me. i tend to be shy (i know i know LOL). but i would really enjoy conversing with you. im just not sure where to start (believe it or not). :o) i look forward to talking with you in email if the offer still stands. :o)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
goo - thank you for responding. good to know others are reading this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
had enough - since you mentioned sybil & eve, you might like to check out some other books by multiples such as Cameron West's First Person Plural or a book called the Flock by a woman (cant remember her name). there are many more resources out there to help explain this DIDness. one thing ive learned is that each DID person is different from the next....like a snowflake. everyone's system is set up differently. there are simularities but i have yet to hear of systems being exactly alike. i completely agree with you that people need to be educated about MPD/DIDness. i truly wish doctors would start learning about this uniqueness. personally, i do not agree it is a disorder---there is way too much order within. amazingly so. altho i tend not to see it in myself, i agree that there is much creativity and intelligence involved with this uniqueness. i would be very interested to hear what you find about the borg and their view of DID. as far as i heard there was only 1 article ever written about it but it was years ago and i dont have the cdroms so wasnt able to find it. i find it very doubtful that they have written anything since. at least i havent seen it in any of the mags thus far. please let me know if you should come up with anything. id really appreciate it. as far as the elders in my cong they do not bother with anything ive said about my own DIDness. and i wasnt asking them to do anything about it. i just wanted them to know for the record so to speak. they never responded--ever about it. they didnt even acknowledge what i said. after that, they dont bother with me. i still have 1 elder that sends an email once in a while. thats all. and it does not contain any questions or any support....it just says "hope things are doing well for you" kinda of thing. otherwise NADA.

if there is ever anything youd like to ask you may certainly email me...at any time. if i can help in any way, im happy to. its kinda weird but weve kinda gotten to the place where we really want to help others to know. just as a sexually assulted/abused person gets to a point where we feel we HAVE to speak out about it...well, that what me and my system is feeling. that we HAVE to speak out about DIDness as much as we are able--to educate others about it. so we are very open to questions. when we come across one that we do not feel comfortable with we just say so. it is so nice and refreshing to be able to speak freely. so much of what weve learned is that we have to keep our mouth shut...that everything is a bad thing and thus must be kept secret. the freedom of being able to talk is so awesome. so please, ask away. :o)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

guess thats all for now... im so glad this weekend was one of clarity for us...we got to answer these wonderful questions. please feel free to ask more as they come up. we are committed to trying to help others to the best of our ability.

we really appreciate the interest and feedback weve gotten so far. thank you all soooo much! i/we look forward to more exchanges in the near future.

all for tonight. hope this finds you all doing well.

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

95

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

by Wounded Heart in

used to be called multiple personality disorder (mpd).. i have it.

i was physically, emotionally, sexually abused.

the tramas in my life were so great that i split into many.

Wounded Heart

Waiting, im sorry you feel we were ignoring you and the opportunity you have offered. things are difficult for my system on a daily basis. as i stated in the 2 posts that were responses to questions people asked, i am answering them in the order they were asked. we do not wish to leave anyone out. we simply just didnt get to your's yet altho you are next in line. i did not want to offend anyone which is why i am handling the questions as i am. i tire easily. concentration is difficult. i simply ran out of concentration and energy to answer more than the 4 i already have. i regret i cannot answer more quickly. some are easy to answer. others are not. yours is a more complicated one for us. due to what you shared and the level we would like to bring to our correspondance with you. we love what you write waiting. we feel a connection to you. we are hoping that we can be friends with you. we would richly enjoy a friendship with you. we already look for your posts. we like to read what you write. we agree with much of what you write. please do not give up on us....we will respond asap. please do not equate the waiting time to a level of disinterest. cause that is not the case at all. i appreciate you have kept trying. it means alot to us. all for now. off to see if i can answer your 1st post to us. will work from there.

caring,
Kath

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

95

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

by Wounded Heart in

used to be called multiple personality disorder (mpd).. i have it.

i was physically, emotionally, sexually abused.

the tramas in my life were so great that i split into many.

Wounded Heart

hello again...hope this finds you all doing well. just wanted to get back to answering the questions raised while i had the where-with-all (concentration and energy). so here goes....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EMYROSE: what has helped me most to deal with all this? hmmm well its a matter of a few different things. first was talking with a T (therapist). another was having a really good friend to talk to. also, i found the above message board and read what others are going thru. i did group therapy for abuse survivors. i tried a group T for DID folks but it was peer run and basically sucked. journal writing helped alot. art collage work helped alot. seeing a psychiatrist was very helpful--i need meds to deal with the depression and anxiety. its not just one thing but rather alot of different things that help. every part helps. and talking. talking to others--whether it be a T or a friend or family. all of it helps. acknowledging what the probs are. i learned its best to feed little bits at a time to family/friends, until you can gage how they react.

for me and my system (all the inside people make up our system), DID is important to survival. even now. not that were being abused cause we arnt. but rather cause we get triggered alot and switching helps keep us safe. at this point there is NO plan to *I*(integrate). we are dealing with the issues and the traumas as they surface. our T is very supportive and agrees that if we dont want to *I* then we dont have to. so we are in control of what we want for our system. this is the 1st T that allows us to control our T(therapy)--Finally!

what brings me joy? lots of things. we are working on not being so negative thinking. we have lived sooooo long just waiting for the "axe" to fall. we just assume negative things will happen to us. so we are working on that now. joy has started to be more and more in past year. we love our cousins, play with the 11yr old all the time, love our computer, love the air, love thunderstorms (ironically the negative ion in the air--love that feeling), our family, our friends, we love our stuffies (stuffed animals), the list goes on & on. about friends: ive made a few internet friends that i actually talk to and am planning on meeting them in the very near future. one of them has become one of our bestest friends. one of my lils (younger alters) talk to her all the time.

please feel free to email me if youd like to talk more. or if you have other questions that youd rather ask in email. i hope some of this helps.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mommie Dark - you are right, dissociation happens quite frequently. a friend of mine, with abuse history, had to work thru different ages of when the abuse happened in order to heal. however, dissociation has many different levels. none of her dissociating led to actual personalities. you are so right about dissociating being a natural way to handle the difficulties and traumas in our lives. we have HUGE losses of memory--even from a few years ago, last week, whatever affects us with huge stress or intense to moderate pain. so we are still dissociating to this day. it just too much to remember. theres just so much pain. when mom was dying of cancer, i was her caretaker. i dont remember that time. i dont remember she died. but yet, i dont remember her very well either. she was my twin. my best friend. i loved her soooooooooooooooooo much. it hurts to think of her. so i dissociate and create this black hole memory. endless black holes in my life.

im sorry to hear that youve had to deal with painful things that created your actor personalities. no one should have to go thru any of that.

thank you for the kind words mommie dark. my reason for talking about this is two fold. i needed to be accepted for who and how we are. but we also needed others...esp jws to know that it is OK to be DID/MPD. that they should be proud for the creative way they kept themselves safe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
more to come.....

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

18

a part of ourselves we neglected

by rodnico in

jw
friends

my mother is coming to visit me next week.

i haven't seen her for over 4 years.

she thinks that somehow i am a completely different person since leaving the organization.

Wounded Heart

COMF love that last one....started living instead of existing. im just learning to do that recently. things are much better when i try to live...but the desire to just exist does have a strong pull. esp since there is so much i need to do and go thru in order to start/continue to live.

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

42

FREE ADVICE

by peaceloveharmony in

jw
friends

hey people .

well, um, ya, so i'm just gonna offer some free, unsolicited adive here...... quick aside: for those of you that don't know me, here's a little background (short and sweet version)....raised a jw, baptized at 15, da'd at 17. .

here is a little plh philosophy:.

Wounded Heart

very good advice PLH! and a much better and less stressful way to live. im glad you shared this...thank you!

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

56

Urban Legends!

by ISP in

jw
friends

its amazing the extent these circulate in the wt world.

i am not so sure, but it develops a powerful folklore amongst jws....often with a moral at the end!

typically these circulate as experiences given in talks and are then adopted by the masses as truth.. for example, anyone hear the ul about the married couple where the wife had to have a routine blood check.

Wounded Heart

LMAO SanFranJim! loved that one! makes a good jw joke if you ask me.

ISP - heard your jesuit UL many years ago.

Wheel - heard the crows growing bigger & multiplying UL many yrs ago

Prisca & Jelly - about the "austrailian" bombing: i dont remember where or when it was supposed to have happened. the version i read was that everyone was looking at bible and thus all but 1 in frt row were saved when the NAIL BOMB went off. and that the nails would have blinded everyone in the eyes. the speaker was "standing on top" of the bomb and was thrown clear. the bomb was made up of nails that shot out like bullets everywhere when it went off. thats how i heard it. there may have been more but i dont remember anything else right now.

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

18

a part of ourselves we neglected

by rodnico in

jw
friends

my mother is coming to visit me next week.

i haven't seen her for over 4 years.

she thinks that somehow i am a completely different person since leaving the organization.

Wounded Heart

i think you are exactly right. my "in the new system" things are all about being physically healed. youve given me alot to think about. now that im no longer a jw what does that leave me? no hope. thats part of what my reaction is. the other part is that i will just have to learn to deal with the limitations tho that is hard.

'Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.' (posted by Stephenw20)

God, we ask not that you move the mountains,
but that You give us the strength to climb.

thank you for your post!!!

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

1

"God gave us memory....

by Wounded Heart in

"god gave us memory that we might have roses in december.".

james m. barrie .

loved this and wanted to pass it along to you all.. hope you all are doing well.. wounded heart.

Wounded Heart

"God gave us memory that we might have roses in December."
James M. Barrie

loved this and wanted to pass it along to you all.

hope you all are doing well.

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

95

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

by Wounded Heart in

used to be called multiple personality disorder (mpd).. i have it.

i was physically, emotionally, sexually abused.

the tramas in my life were so great that i split into many.

Wounded Heart

THANK YOU ALL!!!!!

im so grateful for all the support and interest youve all shown. we are overwhelmed in trying to answer all and so here are a few responses to start.

1st of all, this url will give you some places to start to get info about DIDness. the links range from general info to the controversial to personal accounts. the url is: http://www.mosaicminds.org/rroom/nindex.shtml
for those who are DID and are needing a place to meet other DIDs the main site is MosaicMinds.org where you will find access to the message board.

now, taking this 1 response at a time--from the top.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HIPPIKON: my intro at this url states my jw background. its at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?site=3&id=4065&page=3
as for how the elders have dealt with us--they havent. they are not informed enough. and, tho i offered info on how to deal with me/us, they never bothered to take an interest. they did not bother with me. after i stopped going to meetings, even tho i gave them a 3 page typewritten letter as to how to deal with me, they did not follow heed. i asked for kindness, caring, reassurance that i matter to Jah---basically the fruitages of the spirit, deal with me the way Jesus would. they decided not to bother with me....after 27yrs of being the in the same congregation. and they had no comment on the DID dx.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THINKERS WIFE: i have found your posts to be ones that i seek out. i too feel a connection there. thank you for the offered support.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
more to come.....

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

95

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

by Wounded Heart in

used to be called multiple personality disorder (mpd).. i have it.

i was physically, emotionally, sexually abused.

the tramas in my life were so great that i split into many.

Wounded Heart

thank you francoise.

Are you safe now? -- basically yes
Are you in therapy? -- yes going on 6 years now
Do you have an Inner Self Helper? -- not sure
Are you the original personality, or are you an alternate? -- the core person is in a coma.

thank you for offering to email with me. my email add is accessable. Kath

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love